humbled

Nothing gets me more interested in programming than getting injured. I look at training modalities like a starving man looks at a Chiles menu. Ohhhh ya those fucking kettlebell jalapeno poppers gaaaaargle snarf snarf.

I finally get war story bros even though I still hate them. When someone says I used to deadlift as much as you before I took an arrow in the knee, they may actually be genuine and not moving the goalposts. I have no idea if I'll ever be able to deadlift 2x bw again and frankly, I don't give a shit. My priorities have shifted from get huge and strong at all costs to - be mobile in shape and explosive. 

I am humbled by this neck injury. I am also embarrassed. Every back injury I had was an opportunity to get a jacked upper body and I squandered my time. I had no idea how integral neck health was to literally all movements, so this injury has been as damaging psychologically as it has been physically. For the past year I've been more or less ignoring the problem. This was a mistake. I've been able to lift what I want but at a VERY low level. Wtf is the point? Eventually the pain and the numbness got worse and I had to back off completely. In retrospect, it would have been a better idea to lose progress for 3 months in recovery instead of 1 year of shitty workouts where I lost progress anyways.

This by no means STOP EVERYTHING. I still maintain that physical activity is the lubricant needed for recovery. A true war story bro just gives up. We aren't giving up. We are pivoting.

Things I've learned bullet style

- physical therapy doesn't necessarily know wtf they're doing. If what they are asking you to do hurts or makes the problem worse and their response is well just try harder, leave.

- lower body options that do not load the neck exist in spades: bw squats, bss, sled drags (a+++++). These are all low impact and can be done every day. 

- work on your grip every other day. 

- when you return, a heavy emphasis on chest mobility, kb oly variations, and neck strengthing is in your future.

- daily trap self massage is money. Professional massage is a must and not a luxury. Strive to go 2x a month 

There is no reason to get out of shape because you can't do hard or heavy movements. Something > nothing always.

justa singles

I tried a Justa singles routine years ago. What did I get? Just the ability to pull 405 like it was air. So obviously I quit saying that it was a dumb routine and I could do better. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Justa singles falls extremely well into daily training. The piece I missed last time was ONLY doing Justa singles. This is one of the strats Dan John designates as easy strength - focus on a single quality then GO PLAY YOUR SPORT. 

Well, my sport is getting jacked and mobile to play with my future kids. Yolo. As long two things are avoided - failure, excessive lower back loading - multiple daily sessions have felt amazing.

How we do

Morning

Warmup - sled or suitcase carry

Justa singles (3-20min)

Ab wheel 10 reps

Curls

Afternoon (grab bag)

Kb press hypertrophy ladders

Kb snatches

Suitcase carries

Explosive pushups

peas and carrots by bodypart

Last post: eatin your fuckin peas and carrots. I.e. doing the things you dont want to do so you can get to the fun stuff.

Back

Bulgarian split squats

McGill big 3, heavy focus on side planks

Suitcase carries for distance

Leg curls

Neck 

Standing tucks

Planks and side planks

Suspension rows

Shoulders

Suspension rows

Releasing those fucking rear delts

peas and carrots

No one likes peas and carrots. Name one fuckin person who says ah fuck you know i cant wait to get home...danny, to eat mom's homemade peas and carrots. If you know someone that is like this get better friends.

What are your training peas and carrots? Something that you know is good for you and you damn well should being doing on the reg but arent. You arent until life tells you to. And then what? Then you have to eat a lot of peas and carrots to catch up to a daily level of peas and carrots. That's way too many fuckin peas and carrots.

My peas and carrots? Easy.

- ab work

- neck work

Two things that when I've got them locked in I'm unstoppable. But guess what. Theyre not fun. Theyre not good. I hate them and i hate them and i hate them. But when i eat peas and carrots, everything else falls into place. I get to eat the things i really want to eat. So get over what you dont want to do so you can have dessert.

And dont forget, eat your fuckin peas and carrots.

injury workarounds

If it causes pain or the injury to get worse, don't do it. I could stop right there, but this is another lesson I've had to learn time and time again.

Your body is pretty fantastic at giving feedback when something isnt right. Often, this feedback can come weeks or months before the actual fuuuucccckkkk. And that's exactly what most injuries are. They arent the 'well i did one weird thing and my body didnt like it.' Oh no no. That's what i tell God, my wife, and the gram. It's more like, ya my neck is constantly nagging at me and i have to foam roll this giant knot in my back daily to avoid pain but ill just do some farmers to stretch it out. This is a child talking.

The fact is, the more pain free days you have, then the more pain free days you will have. Read that again Roger. If you are pain free for 3 months after an injury while still staying mobile and active, you won the prize. If you are over the main ouch but still feel pain 3/7 days of the week, you have not addressed the problem.

Fast forward to today. For me, working around an injury satisfies the first sentence of this blog. Whatever you do, it does not hurt or cause the injury to last longer. 

Status report: neck injury

- acute pain in neck when it stretches towards my right side.

- extreme weakness in my left arm.

- extreme pressure felt in my neck when i assume a pushup positon.

This counts out most bodyweight pulls and presses, barbell squats, barbell deadlifts, and (sad enough) keg carries. This sucks, but more importantly it leaves behind some gems that can be exploited. DB floor press, ghr, sled drags, light farmers walks, high angle bw rope rows, and bulgarian split squats. This, is, a nice little corner I'm backed into.

All of the nono list items are on hold. My goal is to remain pain free for a month before venturing outside of my hole. This leaves a month to get amazing at movements ive never really paid attention to before.

New rule: 

Every workout has a feeler tab. What hurt. Is it persistant. Scale from 1 to 10. Be aware and remember.

Brain droppings 9/12/21

Everyone should be prioritizing:

• Their conditioning
• Their knees, neck, abs, and spinal erectors.

I should never, ever, give anyone fitness advice. Besides the plain fact that I'm a poor model to build off of, the universe tends to break me via a karmic reaction. Me giving advice = me getting hurt. 

One meal a day (OMAD) is fucking fantastic and an easy way to feel great. At my peak last year, I was leaner than my 20s self, had no injuries to speak of, and could visibly see my arms/shoulders stretching my t-shirts. All the while, I thought I was wasting time because I was unable to squat, deadlift, or oly lift. My biggest change was OMAD was a staple in my life. Funny that.

I've never done a deload past my brief jaunt with 5/3/1. I also have failed to make meaningful progress over the past 6 years and have accrued an impressive amount of injuries. I'm sure these things are unrelated.

Daily low impact work feels great on the joints. My right knee went from 'shit do I need surgery' to 'nope I'm fine' in a week. Babying an injury only allows for scar tissue to take up residence.

Most barbell movements just don't feel great anymore. I should feel disappointed but I'm not. I depended on pseudo oly moves (snatch high pulls, power cleans) to feel fast and lean out. While these movements definitely helped from a speed component, they have safer alternatives (see: KB swings, cleans, and snatches) and are overall not needed if I just lose some god damn weight. Seeing video/pics of myself from my height of oly moves, I really was not as lean as I thought I was. Weird enough, I bet if I lost 30lbs, I would get faster. 

I love mythical strength's blog post about granting permission. Do you want to do something? Instead of researching for 10yrs, just try it. I let a Layne Norton video lambasting fasting make me second guess OMAD. Why should I care what the science says when I know fasting feels great, makes me look great, and generally has very little impact on overall performance.

morning power, afternoon condition

Morning: Quick and the dead 40reps

KB swings: done in 5s

Power pushups: done in 5s

Note: Left the workout feeling awesome.

Afternoon: Random condition 15min

Jump rope x100

BW squat x40

60lb KB suitcase carry 30ft (each hand)

Repeat  

Note: Left the workout feeling great but sweaty af.

morning condition: jump rope and pushups

13min of

100 jump rope rotations

20 pushups 

100 jump rope rotations 

19 pushups

....

Etc

return to cards : random vaca workout

Great reminder that one of the best quick workouts is simple and effective.

Deck of death

Black = pushups (various grips)

Red = squats

Numbered cards = number of reps

Face cards = 10 reps

Ace = 11 reps

Get through the deck as fast as you can. The speed of this workout makes it a bear. I've experimented with adding more exercises to the mix -

3 exercises, spades/clubs are unilateral leg exercises. Red is one exercise.

4 exercises, each suit is something.

-

But keeping the exercise count to 2 removes guesswork and ups the difficulty. There is no hiding from anything difficult with 2 exercises. Your strength endurance is taxed immediately.

You will never repeat the same workout twice. Ever. 

I used squats and pushups today because i have no equipment. At home, things like dips, rows, pullups, etc can be easily substituted. 

What variations to use?

Do some or do none. It doesn't matter.

Difficulty modifiers

1. Use harder variations on 1-5 reps

Ex: 

ring dip instead of dip

L sit pullup instead of pullup

Diamond pushup instead of pushup 

Jump squat instead of squat

2. Go through the deck twice

Not gonna lie. This is absolutely brutal. If i take this route, i will typically make sure round 2 is only comprised of easy variations.

3. Double the volume of a movement 

Typically reserved for lower body work. Double the rep value of every card.

3 = 6

King = 20

4. Add weight

Bold move Cotton.

morning workout: low impact and restorative

Equipment needed:

Jump rope

Single kettlebell

Workout:

Jump rope until you miss or run out of steam

Waiter walk with kettlebell 50 yards. Repeat with opposite hand.

Repeat for 10min

I love morning workouts, but they dont love me. Thats not to say im not awake or cant turn on the juice, but my joints and back typically arent ready to party until im damn near done. This is where injuries start my dudes. As much as i want to do deadlifts and swings, this isnt the time. 

The morning workout posted above is a nice comprimise. Get the blood flowing, conditioning work is claimed, and i get to work on my oblique strength without the mind numbing boredom that is side planks. 

<rant>

I hate side planks so fucking much. They heal my back as much as they hurt my shoulder. The tradeoff is not desirable. 

</rant>

Get there, then figure it out (Maxing out the weight you have)

Buying more advanced fitness equipment is a lot like buying smaller clothes when you are morbidly obese. Ya, you may eventually fit these clothes, but you only dropped 5lbs dude. Maybe consider getting so small that your current clothes look ridiculous. The new clothes are a reward not a target.

I can't tell you how many times I have to fight the inclination to jump the gun buying something I don't need or didn't need. Well, I'm lifting 200lbs now but I only have 250lbs max. I really should buy up to 300lbs to prepare for this inevitability. What never fucking happens after I pull this trigger? Getting to comfortably lift 250lbs. 

What's a better strat? Run into the problem of being too fucking strong for the equipment you have. Hit that weight, then hit it for more reps. Then more. Then more. 

Did this become ridiculous? Fine.

• Decrease the speed of the negative.
• Add pauses.
• Do 1.5 reps.
• Go to silly amounts of reps.
• If this is a bodyweight movement, you have the option of changing the leverage.  

You should be so lucky to have the problem of being too strong for your current equipment. Feeling like you have hit a ceiling when you top out your available weight is a creative limitation. 

Caffeine (back on and off the wagon) and thoughts about recovery

Caffeine

My wife and I returned to caffeine after about a month of nothing. It was like a light got turned on in my head that had been off for a long time. I then crept into the daily coffee habit I've had since I was 18.

Quitting again this week sucked, but not nearly as bad as the first time (where I was guzzling 32oz+ a day easily). About 2 days of feeling tired and experiencing mild headaches was the rhythm here.

Recovery

It's always spooky when you are already going down a thought process, and suddenly an article or video shows up discussing that literal God damn thing. Mythical Strength posted an article (http://mythicalstrength.blogspot.com/2021/04/if-you-want-to-get-bigger-stop-lifting.html) on lifting less often to foster hypertrophy.

When I look back at 2020, my best progress was made with this exact schedule:

3-4 HARD training sessions a week filled in with conditioning on my off days (or get this, GASP, off days are actually off). We'd like to think that more is better when it comes to growth, but this only really applies if you can recover from your sessions.  

reducing dopamine dump | day 7-14 | good bye coffee

 Most days are the same. My energy is...fine. Not bouncing off the walls, but I'm not dying either.

Unlike other things I've struggled with on the addiction front, the psychological front is muted or not present at all. I don't have that constant voice telling me that it's ok to drink coffee like it's there to say it's great to eat sugar.

Fixing my shitty diet is the next step to better energy. I can't tell if I've gotten fatter because I'm not jazzed up on caffeine or if I've just been eating like shit.

Biggest change? My poop is incredible. Not as regular, but immense and powerful. 

step loading calisthenics

 I always look for simplicity in programming. The moment I start setting standards for leveling up, cycles, etc, things start to fall apart. This is why basic ass programs tickle me.

Main movements (except snatch rack pulls) all have added weight. When shit is too easy, add weight. That's it. That can be weeks, or months. It doesn't matter. 

Each sub-category can use as many or as few movements as desired.

Pushups = ring pike pushups, ring pusbups, HSPU, RTO pushups

Pullups = offset ring pullups, ring pullups (close and normal grip, add band tension when needed), ring jacknife pullups

etc

Day 1:

Main: Pushups, pullups, and bulgarian split squats

Acc: Triceps, rope work

Day 2: 

OFF or condition

Day 3:

Main: Dips, rows, and snatch rack pulls

Acc: Triceps, rope work

Day 4: 

OFF or condition

Constant OFF days give me a chance to run a full day fast. Lean out while still making progress.

reducing dopamine dump | day 4-6 | good bye coffee

Everything has been pretty normal to be honest.

I miss the 'high' feeling of caffeine, but otherwise I feel rested and good. Work performance has not been impacted one iota (surprising!). Workout intensity took a hit overall, but I found some interesting side benefits:

• Moderate intensity work (i.e. hypertrophy) lends itself very well to this lack of GO JUICE.
• My recovery is better. Like way better. Either I'm not pushing as hard, or my body is able to recover better via sleep or just because i don't have shot adrenals.

Overall pleased with how this is going. I'll start checking in at the week level instead of daily since the daily levels of improvement and changes are not as pronounced.

reducing dopamine dump | day 3 | good bye coffee

 Day 3 recap

I felt way better in the morning than days 2 and 1 combined. I still don't feel great, but this ain't bad either. I miss feeling my level of normal but I'm not itching for coffee. This is just annoying.

Sex drive is back slightly. Sleep and digestion have been great.

reducing dopamine dump | goodbye coffee | day 2

Forward

This experiment has become somewhat of a 'what does my final form look like.' I'm interested in my real level of energy when I'm not spiked up on a daily basis. The nagging fear in the back of my head is - what if my real energy sucks? What if I can ONLY feel good and normal with a drug I've been taking in daily for decades? That voice can scream all it wants. I don't think I'll be able to answer this question honestly until I've been off the black sauce for a few months. If my life is truly better with it, so be it. I have a feeling that I'm going to feel differently. Every single thing I've worked to remove from my life - porn, social media, soda, clutter/things - has improved my life in ways I didn't expect. Why would coffee be any different?

Day 2 Recap

Day 2 sucked in a way day 1 did not. Where day 1 brought headaches, day 2 brought overwhelming fatigue and a complete void of a sex drive. I was definitely less edgy than day 1, but the edge was still there. I had 0 desire to work out, so I just put in 10min of glute ham raises. Like day1, exercise performance was not really that impacted. Intensity definitely takes a hit, but I'm going more so for volume/hypertrophy these days anyhoo.

I found that intermittent fasting worked extremely well at keeping my energy up during the day. I only hit an extreme low once I broke my fast at 430p. Longer fasts (closer to OMAD) may work better in this case. Also important to note that I broke my fast with a fuckton of peanut butter, bread, and honey. MAYBE just maybe the sugar rush had something to do with an extreme drop in energy. I dunno I'm not a doctor.

reducing dopamine dump | good bye coffee | day 1

I've never had to quit anything substantial before. Cigarettes never really took with me. I drank booze because I thought I was supposed to drink booze to be social.

Recently I've been looking at where my anxiety, digestion problems, and fluctuations in weight occurred. Smack dab at 18 yrs old. What happened at 18? Two things:

• Daily coffee 
• Social media

I went from confident and energetic as all hell to depressed, anxious, and tired unless I filled my tank constantly. I've already dropped social media this year and happier for it. Dropping coffee, sucks. It really sucks. Beyond the simple fact that I love the smell, the taste, and the feel of coffee, I feel like absolute dogshit right now.

It's important that I write this now because I tend to forget the journey and the outcome when I relapse. So far...

Day1:

I'm kind of a low grade dick to everyone

7a-10a, when i usually drink coffee, is awful

I'm not tired but I'm not 'up' either

One small headache which clears up with an Advil

Workout went fine. No noticeable drop in performance

easy day

Im tired and everything is sore. I was able to get 6 rto pushups before my chest screamed stoppppppp.

Today is an easy day.

5 rounds of

Bw pushups 

Bw trx rows

Bw squat + lunges (2 squats + 1 lunge)

12min

Full body calisthenics | Pushups, chinups, and squats

Everything done in the order below. I performed an entire circuit (~2-3min set). Rest 1.5-3min then restart.

All sets stop 1-2 reps before failure.

Pushup variations

RTO ring pushups

Ring pushups

Floor pushups

Rope tri extensions

Pullup variations

Towel offset ring pullups

Ring pullups or close grip ring pullups

Ring pullups + band

(remember for next time) Jackknife pullups

Squatting variations

BSS jumps

Trap bar jump squats + 50lbs

(remember for next time) Jump squats

BSS

(remember for next time) Squats

~32min total

Stretch shoulders and biceps